This article rises out of a felt need to prepare brothers and sisters in our sending churches to better understand and minister to those who return from the mission field, whether it be just for a furlough or permanently. We will divide this into three parts.

I. Issues Facing Returning Missionaries
II. Responsibilities of the Local Congregation and the Mission Board
III. Testimonies From Missionaries

 I. Issues Facing Returning Missionaries

Well, is it good to be home?” This question is often asked by well-meaning friends and relatives. How does the missionary answer? His heart may not feel like home is here. Home to the missionary may well be overseas where he has worked during the past few or many years. He may feel unsettled, or even confused. Many missionaries are not prepared for the changes they face upon returning to their native land.

When missionaries are sent out there is an emphasis on being prepared mentally, spiritually and physically to face the changes and challenges on the foreign field. They are geared up and go off full of anticipation and excitement. And they go with the full backing and support of those who send them. On the field meanwhile, whether short term or long term, they made many adjustments to a new culture, language, friends, and way of life. However, on return they may feel weary, let down, or even defeated.

Very often the process of re-entry into a home culture is more difficult for a missionary than the adjustments he faced in another country. Surprising as this may seem, it is often true. This may be so even when the missionary wanted to return to his native land, but may be devastating when he has to return because of sickness, family needs, or other reasons. The extent of the difficulties and the time it takes to adjust depend on a number of factors, e.g., the missionary’s own walk with the Lord, how long he has been away, how deeply he was involved in the host culture, the circumstances of the return, his personality, how quickly he gets involved into another occupation, and the effectiveness of his support system. These pressures have been called “re-entry stress” or “reverse culture shock.” As we shall see, this process can be as deep as bereavement reactions. Disappointed expectations in his home country may also affect his emotions.

To understand this better we will look at some of the areas that cause stress to a returning missionary who may already be exhausted on arrival. Try to put yourself in his place. He may be weary from travel and tending to small children, packing up a household on the field, handing over the work, and saying goodbyes.

1. Loss and Grief

The sense of loss of leaving there can seem like an “amputation.” He was so excited when he went, but now it can be very different. There are physical losses: the adopted culture, familiar surroundings, and home. There are other, often deeper losses: a ministry, job, role, or identity. He is leaving close friends and brothers in the Lord.

Missionaries often stand out where they serve, be it the color of their skin or position and level of respect in the community. They feel they have an important contribution to make and feel valued by those with whom they work. They indeed are special people. But at home, after all the greetings are over, they are just like everybody else. A busy, useful lifestyle on the mission field may be replaced by a seemingly humdrum job with little meaning. This may cause struggles for some.

These multiple losses may bring on a grieving, expressing itself in over-emotionalism, loneliness, even feeling homeless and a sense of lostness. It may affect his concentration and focus and cause depression or anxiety. This only accentuates the sense of isolation. He may feel that people don’t understand, or that few want to hear about it. And the missionary himself may not understand what is happening.

2. Other Baggage

In this category we refer to issues that missionaries carry with them as a result of their experiences. These may arise out of trauma, such as being in a war zone or insecure area, or ill health from the stress of tropical diseases (malaria, typhoid, hepatitis, parasites, etc.). Some may be emotionally burnt out through overwork. One may be carrying the weight of unresolved conflicts with fellow missionaries or nationals. Or perhaps the pressures of mission life brought to the fore buried hurts and scars from the past, areas where lessons were not learned previously. Maybe God just wants to do a deeper work of grace. The resulting effects may be manifested in spiritual dryness and withdrawal.

3. Disorientation With His Home Culture

This one may come as a surprise to many of us. How is it that one would have difficulty with his own culture? After all, he is arriving home, isn’t he? But a missionary can go through this reverse culture shock and feel like he no longer belongs. His ideals of coming home weren’t what he thought they would be. Society has changed, church has changed, and people come and go. Also, technology may be frightening. He may need to learn how to interact with an electronic screen at the gas station. He may feel overwhelmed by the wide range of goods in the supermarket. Accustomed to a simple lifestyle, he may feel guilty.

Remember too that we live in a departing culture. Missionaries notice changes in dress, behavior, music, and media. Their reference point is how it was when they left a few years ago. When social issues previously unmentioned in public are discussed openly in the media, they may be shocked and wonder why others are not bothered by it. But the missionary too has changed. He has learned new values that clash with a materialistic culture. His host culture was probably much more relationship-oriented. All this may make him feel unsettled and vulnerable. Some may be tempted to be outwardly critical; others may respond by withdrawing.

4. Relocation Issues

There are many major decisions faced on returning home: house, car, finances, where to live, what to work, church involvement, etc. The local church has an important responsibility to help in supporting the family emotionally and providing for their physical needs during this transition period. The missionary needs time to rest and process these changes. Giving him “space” and reducing his stress level will go a long way.

5. Spiritual Struggles

Be sensitive to where a missionary is in his spiritual experience. Some may have a sense of dryness. This may have various causes—maybe it is due to overall busyness on the field, intense spiritual battles, or simply exhaustion. Maybe it is just a stage in his spiritual journey. Encourage him to pursue spiritual disciplines and enter into fellowship and meaningful relationships. Recognize that he may be on a different wavelength spiritually.

Many a missionary has grown a lot spiritually through having to trust God in tough situations. Maybe he was used to a vibrant happy group that clapped hands in worship. He may feel unchallenged if the spiritual temperature of the home fellowship is lower. He may be asking other questions, e.g., why he was not so fruitful, or trying to find where God is during a dark period in his life.

6. Emotional Experiences

It is clear that the above areas can bring emotional pain. In addition there may be disappointment or frustration from not having reached a goal, or having to leave the field early for one reason or another. There may be some bitterness or resentment toward those responsible for his coming home. Or there may be hard feelings toward those who do not understand or do nothing to help. Some missionaries become emotionally dependent on their work and feel helpless and useless without it. Maybe there is guilt in having to leave a desperately needy situation, especially so if one knows there are needs and nobody is doing anything about it.

Stresses also affect children, compounding the missionary’s difficulty to adjust. Young people in the missionary’s family, and even those who have served short term, may struggle with resentment and bitterness when faced with the above situations. Youth are zealous, and when they have put their whole hearts into service, they may find it hard to accept it when others do not share their values and vision. Some youth may have bonded to such an extent with another culture that they resent certain aspects of their home culture.

The above list is by no means exhaustive, but hopefully gives us an idea of possible issues that a returning missionary faces. The aim is that we be aware of some of his struggles so we can encourage and minister to him in a loving and understanding way. Some of his deeper needs may need to be left for a minister or shepherd, or even require special counseling. The intensity and duration of the adjustment time will vary, but every missionary needs time to rest and a time to make the transition to his home culture.

II. Responsibilities of the Local Congregation and the Mission Board

1. Debrief

The mission board is responsible to do this. They are the ones who sent him out and are responsible for his well-being. Two or three members of the board should sit down with the missionary or couple in an unhurried time and talk about things mentioned in the first section above. The whole church sent them out, but the board has the specific oversight, authority and responsibility to look after any needs, as well as expecting an accounting of the ministry for which they were assigned. Debrief should be an open, honest time of sharing for all parties involved. This should be done after the missionary is somewhat settled and has had some time to rest, but preferably within the first few weeks home. The way forward should be spelled out, even if it is “let’s just wait until such and such a time before making a decision about the future.”

2. Shepherding

This is an often-overlooked area. We all get busy, and those at home have their routines. But it is vital for the missionary to have someone who cares for his spiritual well-being and someone with whom he feels free to share and pray. This goes beyond the logistical and physical needs that are the responsibility of the mission board and the members of the fellowship. The shepherd can help bring perspective to the grieving process if needed and encourage reflection. He can help to keep the focus on God rather than on the struggles, and give relevant Scriptures to pray and meditate on. Where there might be sin or failure, he can help him receive love and forgiveness. The shepherd needs to be someone with a cross-cultural experience or who has had sufficient exposure to the mission field to have an understanding heart. The length of time for this shepherding and spiritual accountability should be agreed on and will largely depend on where the missionary is spiritually.

3. Listen

This is something for everyone. Learn how to ask good questions without prying. A common complaint that returning missionaries have is that after people see them, ask how they are, and realize that they are fine, proceed to tell them all about their own life and activities. Remember James 1:19: “Therefore ye know my beloved brethren, but let everyone be quick to listen and slow to speak…” If you have been praying for your missionary while on the field, it will show in your conversation, and he will surely be blessed.

4. Opportunity for Report Back

The initial sharing may be to the mission board. But the congregation will also want to hear from their missionary. Recognizing your missionary publicly will help him feel welcome and blessed that you are standing with him in this time of furlough or transition. Not all missionaries are preachers, but an appropriate opportunity should be given to share with the congregation.

5. Sendoff After Furlough

For those going back to the field, the sendoff is an important aspect of showing support. It sends the message that the congregation continues to stand behind their missionary in prayer and support. The missionary is now ready to return to the battlefront after a time of rest and reflection and continue to labor for souls and build up the church.

III. Testimonies From Missionaries

Ross & Cynthia Ulrich & family:

Cynthia and I have pondered our furloughs, and here are a few things we really appreciated:

1. Coming to a place that was stocked with groceries was really a heart-warming experience. Someone really cared so much about us to spend all that money and stock our shelves! They really didn’t forget about us, and still love us this much! It was just a visible reminder of the love of the church family for us, which is important after being away for three years.
   
2. After landing in the States we were given some time to rest. People didn’t descend on us immediately with dinner invitations or requests to preach here or there. We were given a breather space, some time to settle in. This is an important time of refreshing because most missionaries’ lives are filled with people, people, and more PEOPLE! The last week or two on the field are especially filled with well-wishers and the good-byes of friends. Often the last two days before the missionary flies home are literally filled with people from soon after sunrise until sunset or later, as people fill the house or courtyard to say good-bye. Not coming to say good-bye and sit and chat awhile would be an offense in their culture. They want the departing missionary to know he will always have them as his friend—but when is the missionary to get time to pack, or eat, or even think?! So a time of rest without other people pushing in is important to most returning missionaries.
   
3. It was a blessing to us in the States to be included in ministry in a limited way. After a time of rest, the home ministry asked if we would be involved in ministry from time to time. This was a real blessing and helped us to feel useful and accepted on the home front. Our lives on the field were filled with ministry, and while we did want a change of pace on furlough, we didn’t want to be a piece of beautiful china in a glass cupboard, but a Tupperware bowl filled with food on the table.
   
4. It was also a blessing to us when folks did not put us up on a pedestal: “Oh, you’re missionaries! Wow, what must it be like to be a missionary?!” When folks accept us just as real people, as they also are, it helps us to relate to them realistically and makes us feel “at home.”

Daniel & Christy Kenaston & family:

Daniel and I came back from our first furlough in the States just a few months ago, so our memories are still very vivid and sweet to us as we reflect on the love and kindnesses we received while we were home. Really, we missionaries are so real and normal, and we get tired and fatigued just like you do. So if you feel a desire to bless one of these “weary-from-the-fight” soldiers, think how you like to be blessed, and you have got a good idea what they need!

Our time began with a shower of blessings, one being the home provided for us by the mission (i.e., you all!) and filled with everything we could think of needing or wanting! I still remember that first night after the long flight with two small children. We were exhausted. As Daniel’s mom ushered us into our haven of rest for the next months of our lives, I could have just cried! I tenderly touched the walls that looked so white and clean to me! I looked at the carpet with awe at how clean and inviting it was—we will be able to play on the floor with our children! That little trailer was a palace to me, and I loved it dearly. Everywhere I turned there was a reminder that someone thought about me and that I might need this or that item and gave it. On top of a house fully furnished, the churches had a food shower for us and provided us with more food, toiletries, and cleaning supplies than we could use. What a blessing and a humbling experience it was to realize how much people gave to welcome us home!

Daniel and I visited many churches while we were home, and I remember many times someone came up to us with a gift of money or in some creative way left money for us to discover later! These were all received with such grateful hearts and much joy. There were churches that gave an offering to cover our expenses of traveling so many miles. Some dear friends found out we had a tight schedule of preaching and thought they would give us a “day off” by buying a ferry ticket across Lake Michigan so we would not have to drive all those hours over the top of Michigan. That gave us a beautiful day of camping in the midst of the busiest weeks of our furlough!

“How are Pastor Boboli and his wife doing? What about the village of Nandooli—is it still following after God in a passionate way?” Questions such as this meant so much to us. Our life is poured out here, and our hearts are bleeding for the souls here, so when someone took the time to read about our ministry and really had a heart in knowing specifically how certain people and places are doing, it encouraged our hearts greatly. In one church, each family has the name of one of the villages in which we are ministering, and every day they pray for the people of that village. When we arrived at this particular church, we were asked so many questions about how each village is doing. This was so sweet to us!

We were overwhelmed during our time home, and we feel that our time was blessed of God because so many of you dear ones in some way, whether big or small, reached out to us in love and made us feel cared for. We thank you all with the biggest “thank you” we can from so far away! God bless you as you prayerfully ask God to show you more ways to be a minister of love to those who are weary from the battle.