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One
Flesh
One
Covenant
Marriage,
Divorce, and Remarriage
(Part
2)
by
Dean Taylor
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The prophet Malachi prophesied of a time when nations would
weep and cry to God but would not receive an answer. He writes
that the people, bewildered by God’s silence, would then
cry out to Him asking why He no longer responds to their prayers.
The reason God gives for holding back His blessing is surprising—it
had to do with the way they were regarding marriage and divorce.
Much like the time that was prophesied in the book of Malachi,
many Christians today across our nation are raising up their
voice to God with “tears and weeping,” crying to
God for revival. When the results do not come, we ask God—why? Revivalists often quote 2 Chronicles 7:14, “If my people,
which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray,
and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will
I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal
their land.” Exactly what are the “wicked ways” spoken
of here in 2 Chronicles? Certainly, it is more than divorce.
But perhaps the prophet Malachi is providing us with some valuable
insight into the heart of God on this matter:
And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD
with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that
he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with
good will at your hand. Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the
LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth,
against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy
companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make
one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore
one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed
to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the
wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith
that he hateth putting away (Mal 2:13-16).
These are hard words for the church of today. The Book
of Hebrews tells us: “For the word of God is quick,
and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing
even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the
joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and
intents of the heart” (4:12). Throughout time, there
have been many who have experienced the laceration of this
two edged sword, following Christ literally as lambs
to the slaughter. Enduring the savage beast of the Roman arena,
the burning cross along the Thebes, or the drowning in Zurich,
these precious saints clearly demonstrated their holy devotion
to the world around them. Others, like the Apostle John,
who after hearing the words of Christ immediately left
the ship and their father, and followed him, must have also felt
this divine sword pierce their hearts, although they did
not physically die. If truth be told, although free of the
pain of burning crosses and severed limbs, many saints confronted
with the austerity of their calling have surely looked upon
the quick, sanctified vindication of martyrdom with longing,
saying with Paul, “For me to live is Christ but
to die is gain.”
Whenever a soul has reached out and dared to take the words of Christ
literally, the outcome has never resulted in anything less than a complete
and radical
change of life. In my own life, I have come across many brave saints who
have taken the words of Christ seriously when He said, “If any man will come
after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever
will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake
shall find it” (Mt 16:24-25).
For some, accepting Jesus’ teachings on nonresistance meant leaving a
promising career in the Army to face an uncertain future. For others, Jesus’ words
on materialism have caused them to deny themselves the “American Dream,” and
give up comforts and luxuries some would consider necessities. Countless others
have walked away from a multi-generational inheritance within a strong community
of people, full of wealth, comforts and security, all in exchange for a shameful
disinheritance and a new identity as the stranger in the land. I have seen
men give up positions as varied as trial attorneys, Catholic priests, contemporary
Christian musicians, and corporate executives. I have seen men forgive murders,
deny lawsuits and accept the plundering of their personal possessions. However,
I must say that I have hardly seen any teaching more painfully misunderstood
and more blatantly ignored than Jesus’ commandments on divorce and remarriage.
Furthermore, witnessing this flagrant disregard for God’s Word in
the world is one thing, but to see it so prevalent in the Church is simply
heartbreaking.
 For the saints who have embraced Jesus’ hard teachings on divorce and
remarriage, the path has not been easy. Allowing the painful incision of this
two-edged sword to truly effect their lives, they have chosen to follow Jesus
in “the narrow way that leads to life.” Others look on with astonishment
and ask, “Whatever would cause a man to choose such a life—such
self-denial? Is it necessary to take Jesus’ words so literally?” Like
the holy martyrs, they walk in an uncommon power to live out the precious commandments
of their Savior, no matter the cost. As living testaments, they show forth
a beautiful, living testimony of the very power and truth of God’s
Holy Word.
The few who do accept Jesus’ teachings on divorce and remarriage have
now found themselves in the vast minority. Witnessing the Church’s greatest
departure from this truth in the history of the world, these seekers have discovered
that this realization, at least to some degree, changes the way they view the
mainstream Church. After all, if Luke was accurate when He recorded the words
of Jesus, “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth
adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth
adultery,” (Luke 16:18), then what are we to think of the wholesale abandonment
of this teaching across Christendom? The tragic consequences of such a thought
have led most to simply dismiss Jesus’ teachings altogether. Still
others, however, have begun to brave the challenge and to cry out to the
Church for
repentance.
Noted radio evangelist and author, John Piper, speaks of his difficulty
in accepting Jesus’ teaching on divorce and remarriage stating:
All of my adult life, until I was faced with the necessity
of dealing with divorce and remarriage in the pastoral
context, I held the prevailing Protestant view that remarriage after
divorce was Biblically sanctioned in cases where divorce
had resulted from desertion or persistent adultery. Only
when I was compelled, some years ago, in teaching through
the gospel of Luke, to deal with Jesus’ absolute statement
in Luke 16:18 did I begin to question that inherited position.
I felt an immense burden in having to teach our congregation
what the revealed will of God is in this matter of divorce
and remarriage. I was not unaware that among my people there
were those who had been divorced and remarried, and those
who had been divorced and remained unmarried, and those who
were in the process of divorce or contemplating it as a possibility.
I knew that this was not an academic exercise, but would
immediately affect many people very deeply. I was also aware
of the horrendous statistics in our own country, as well
as other Western countries, concerning the number of marriages
that were ending in divorce, and the numbers of people who
were forming second marriages and third marriages. In my
study of Ephesians 5 I had become increasingly persuaded
that there is a deep and profound significance to the union
of husband and wife in “one flesh” as a parable
of the relationship between Christ and his church. All
of these things conspired to create a sense of solemnity
and
seriousness as I weighed the meaning and the implication
of the Biblical texts on divorce and remarriage. The upshot
of that crucial experience was the discovery of what I
believe is a New Testament prohibition of all remarriage
except in
the case where a spouse has died.
Review
As was discussed in Part
1 (April/May/June
2007) Jesus’ prohibition
against divorce stemmed not so much from a new teaching about
divorce, but from reinstating God’s original heart
on marriage from the beginning. When Jesus was challenged
about divorce, he took them back to a teaching about
marriage. Quoting from Part
1:
“To these basics
of marriage, Jesus added his profound, dominical explanation
point—'Wherefore
they are no more twain, but one flesh' (Matt. 19:6).
The entire focus of the debate was resolved in this God-ordained
fact.
The Pharisees were asking about the various legalities
of splitting the two individuals up. However, Jesus attempted
to change their entire way of thinking, informing
them that contrary to what they were thinking, the married
couple remained
no longer as two individuals that even could be split
up, 'they
are no more twain, but one flesh.'"
 A few years ago, in a teaching
on divorce and remarriage, Bro. Rick Leibee used a very graphic
illustration to help
us better understand the concept of “the two becoming
one.” He took two lumps of clay, one of them yellow
and the other blue, and began to knead the two together until
eventually they became one large, bright green lump. When
he was finished, he held the lump up and said, “Now,
someone come up here and take out the blue clay.” The
point was clear, the change was irrevocable. Similarly, marriage
fuses together two individuals into one—irrevocably.
The Divorce Question
For study purposes, the scriptures that deal with the issue
of divorce and remarriage are generally regarded as: Gen.
2:24, Deut 24:1-4, Ezra 10:1-3, Mal. 2:6-16, and Jer. 3:1-14.
In the New Testament they are: Mt. 5:31-32, 19:3-12, Mk.
10:2-12, Luke 16:18, Rom. 7:1-6, 1 Cor. 7:10-15, 1 Tim. 3:2,
and Eph. 5:15-33.
The question that the Pharisees
asked Jesus about divorce was, “Is it
lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” After Jesus gave
them the basics of the marriage covenant by accenting this “one flesh” theology,
He boldly answered their question by stating, “What therefore God hath
joined together, let not man put asunder.” This alone should be sufficient
to establish an absolute prohibition against divorce and remarriage. However,
like the reply of the Pharisees, several questions naturally tend to come
up.
What About The Old Testament Law Of Divorce?
The Pharisees seemed to understand
that Jesus was indeed saying that divorce with remarriage
was not permissible at
all. However, being good students of the Law, they
naturally questioned Jesus about the law of divorce found
in Deut.
24, “Why did Moses then command to give a writing
of divorcement, and to put her away?” To this
Jesus responded, “Moses
because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you
to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was
not so” (Matt.
19:7-8).
 Like many of the Old Testament
laws, Jesus further expanded this “Law
of Divorce” to include the spirit and intent of the heart. Jesus’ focus
challenged the way the Pharisees looked at marriage, and now He was even telling
them that they had viewed the Mosaic Law incorrectly. One of the most common
misconceptions held about the Deuteronomy passage has been that the Old Testament
Law instituted a “Law of Divorce.” A closer look reveals that divorce
was already happening; Moses did not institute “divorce,” he
simply regulated it.
Adding to this misconception
is a problem of translation. Although this misconception
obviously predates the King James translation, it
is possible
to make a false
assumption based upon some of the wording in our King James version.
Look in your Bibles at Deuteronomy 24. It states: “When a man hath taken a wife,
and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes, because
he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement,
and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house” (Deut. 24:1).
Unfortunately, the word “then” was not part of the original Hebrew,
even in the “Textus Receptus,” from which the King James was derived.
No doubt it was put there by the translators to allow the sentence structure
to flow better. However, this addition actually changes the emphasis entirely.
It creates a “Law of Divorce” which was not part of the original
language.
As Andrew Cornes points out
in Divorce & Remarriage: Biblical Principles & Pastoral
Practice, this “divorce law,” instead of being a “Law of
Divorce,” was actually a law regulating against a type of remarriage.
When looked at in the original Hebrew, as opposed to a simple one-sentence,
cause-and-effect law commanding divorce, it rather reads as a four-sentence
regulation against putting a woman into this particular situation. “The
circumstances under which the Law applies continue throughout the first three
verses; the action to be taken—what the husband must (or must not) do–only
comes in verse 4” (ibid).
Cornes gives the translation
as:
If a man
marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because
he finds something indecent about her, and he writes
her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and
sends her from his house, (2) and if after she leaves
his house she
becomes the wife of another man, (3) and her second
husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of
divorce, gives
it to her and sends her from his house, or
if he
dies, (4) then her first husband, who divorced her, is
not allowed
to marry her again after she has been defiled.
That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do
not bring sin upon
the land the Lord your God is giving you as an
inheritance (Deut 24:1-4).
Regardless of how the KJV reads,
the context of the passage is instructive. The context reveals
that divorce was already
practiced by the Hebrews at this time. This passage assumes its existence in the regulation. The law was created
as a way to protect the woman, not to reject her. It is important
to remember that Moses gave the law as a response to “the
hardness of your hearts.” Again, this passage indicates
that Moses did not institute divorce, he merely regulated against a type of remarriage. This passage provided at
least three regulations: (1) It prevented the women from
being
traded and passed around like merchandise. (2) It curtailed
remarriage for a woman in this condition. (3) It restrained
the husband, causing him to know that he cannot just
act indiscriminately about sending his wife away.
The
Words Of Jesus…
Jesus spoke on the subject of divorce
and remarriage in several places. In the Sermon on the Mount,
Jesus began by
defining the sin of “adultery” in the eyes of
God, stating, “Ye have heard that it was said by them
of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto
you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her
hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” To
the Jewish man of this day, these words must have sounded
absurd. According to Old Testament Law, a man would be found
guilty of “adultery” only by taking another
man’s
wife. For the man, everything else was merely “fornication,” which
was considered a lesser offense by Old Testament standards.
 In a sense, Old Testament marriage
and divorce law seemed to have more to do with authority
and ownership of the
women than it did the mutual, marital oneness
that Jesus stressed in the New Testament. In this way, polygamy was
thereby tacitly allowed. However, Jesus was now focusing
on the man’s original
union with his wife and going so far with it, that He said that even looking at another woman lustfully made a man guilty of adultery! Again, this would
have been radical and absurd by the Jewish men of that day. To make matters
worse, instead of softening these hard statements, Jesus went on to say
that if the offending eye or hand was causing the problem, then it would
be better
(still not best) that we pluck them out or cut them off.
Concluding this severe train
of thought, Jesus then touched on the subject of divorce
and remarriage. To their surprise, Jesus added
divorce and remarriage
to His list of those things which were now being called “adultery.” He
explained that a man, by divorcing his wife, was guilty of causing her
to fall into adultery if she should remarry. Because of this, he is therefore
guilty
of her adultery along with her. The only exception Jesus gives was if the
woman was already guilty of adultery. In that case, then he, of course,
would not
be held guilty of this adultery. However, concerning a remarriage, Jesus
caps off his list of adulterers, including even the man who simply marries
a woman
who has been divorced:
It hath been
said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give
her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you,
That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving
for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery:
and whosoever
shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery (Matt
5:31-32).
Similarly, in the Matthew 19 passage, Jesus repeated the
Sermon on the Mount teaching saying,
“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his
wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another,
committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put
away doth commit adultery” (Matt 19:9).
These ‘exception clauses’ of
Matthew 5 and 19 will be discussed in more detail in the next
issue. Here
in Matthew 19, the sin of adultery is given both to those
who would divorce a woman wrongfully, as well as to those
who would marry a woman who has already been divorced.
In Mark, Chapter 10, the same scene
that was recorded in Matthew 19 is in view; only this time
we get to peek into the private discussions of the Apostles
about the issue after they got home. This time, the topic of remarriage is
more in focus. Mark also makes it clear that the sin of adultery
applies to both men and women.
And in the house his disciples
asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them,
Whosoever shall put away
his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery
against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and
be married
to another, she committeth adultery (Mark 10: 10-12).
Finally, in Luke 16:18, stemming
from a discussion about the Law, Jesus again focused on the
sin of marrying a divorced
person and stated, “And it is easier for heaven and
earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail. Whosoever
putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery:
and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband
committeth adultery” (Luke 16:17-18).
To summarize, Jesus taught that:
-
Divorcing
a spouse for any reason except for fornication is to
be guilty of causing your spouse to commit adultery
(Matt 5:32, 19:9).]
-
Divorcing
a wife and marrying another is adultery (Mark 19:11).
-
Marrying
someone who is divorced is adultery (Luke 16:18).
How Long Does The Sin Of Adultery Last?
Finally, concerning the sin of
adultery, the question remains: Is this a one time sin, or
is it an ongoing sin? For example,
is it like asking forgiveness for a lie you told years
ago, or is it more like keeping something that you stole while
asking God for forgiveness? John Coblentz, in his book
What
the Bible Says About Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage,
touches on the Greek word used in Mark 10 saying:
“The
Greek verb tense translated 'committeth adultery' in
Mark 10:11, 12 is present indicative, suggesting continuous
action. It means 'is committing
adultery.' The adultery is not in the
past only. It began when the second relationship began
and continues as
long as the relationship continues—the
remarriage is ongoing adultery against
the former companion as long
as
that companion lives."
 These words are hard, and as I
said in the beginning, I believe that I have hardly seen any
personal cross more painful,
misunderstood or ignored in the American Church today
as Jesus’ teaching on divorce and remarriage. Sadly,
the consequences have been devastatingly tragic, leaving victims
suffering in the wake of the damage. Because of the magnitude
of the situation, it almost seems impossible to regain
the
lost ground. Generations of families, churches and even
whole denominations have been birthed into this inherited position.
Yet I believe it is not too late to make a change. Once
the
problem is admitted, churches might differ on how to
respond to it, however, at the very least, a church-wide moratorium
on remarriage alone could turn
the tide of this epidemic completely around
in one generation. One thing is certain,
ignoring the situation will not make it
go away. May
God
open our eyes to the need, and give us
the grace for the work. May His gentle
sword cut away our burdens, define
our
path and enlighten our future.
[In the next issue, we would like to discuss the "exception
clause" in detail, followed in future issues by Paul's view
of divorce in the Epistles, and finally ending with a glimpse
at divorce and remarriage in the early Church.]
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